Cupid Who? Shoot Your Shot This Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day is often a day associated with love and compassion for a special someone, but for others, it can also be one of the toughest days of the year. You watch your friends flex their giant stuffed teddy bears and variety-filled, chocolate-shaped hearts right in front of your miserable face. Deep down, you feel jealous, wishing that your so-called “huzzless” days would be over. You wonder, how are my friends such W rizzlers? Well, you can be a W rizzler as this simple three-step plan will secure you a valentine this Valentine's Day.

Step one: finding a potential huzz. To find a valentine this year, you're going to need a “huzz.” Often, our expectations are way too high because we expect a Prince Charming or Cinderella to show up out of nowhere and ask us to be their Valentine. Unfortunately, this situation is completely unrealistic. You need to find someone who truly makes you happy and someone you have some sort of chemistry with. This will make the next part of the plan way easier, bringing us to step number two.

Step two: rizzing the huzz. There’s a term for this– “aura farming” or “mogging.” It’s the point where you look breathtaking in front of your classmates in the event to stand out in the eyes of your chosen “huzz.” This includes getting bad test scores (making it seem like you’re so nonchalant), flexing your dance moves (I recommend the Dab), and hitting the 67 emote randomly (this will really get them hooked). Unfortunately, these things won’t cut it; you need to actually make some moves. Whether that means complimenting them on their drippy fit, striking up a conversation on what brand their microwave is or even asking them what groceries they've been into lately. All you have to do is get your foot in the door, which gives you an alley-oop for the last and final operation.

Step three: bagging the huzz. This is what it's all led up to, the big moment. Michael Jordan said he would “rather shoot and miss than let time run out and wonder what if.” This step is extremely nerve-wrecking, but we have to put an end to the “huzzlessness.” Make sure to pull up to their crib unannounced, with a sign and flowers, and ask them to be your valentine. I would be so surprised if he or she didn’t say yes. If, for some reason, they reject it, just repeat the three-step process until you finally succeed. Follow this guide, and you should have plans for Valentine's Day in no time! Good luck, soldier, and let the odds be ever in your favor!